Chip and Cern are trying out a new show type, Ask Chip and Cern. We take your questions, the internet’s questions and any questions we can get our hands on and answer them for you, with of course the Chip and Cern insights. If you have any questions to submit please send them over to firstname.lastname@example.org or tweet us at @chipandcernshow. These questions could be serious, not or just life events that you want Chip and Cern’s feedback on. Don’t email about what to write in your local paper about your dead grandma.
As the mics crack, Cern cracks a wonderful blonde ale from Saint Archer Brewery in San Diego, CA. If you have ever been wine tasting you know that you start with the lighter white wines then progress to the bigger heavy reds to finish. Chip and Cern do the opposite with beer. You don’t want to be ending your evening with Double IPAs because that will put you in a bad spot.
These are questions that woman have asked answers of men. The topic is mostly dating and relationship advice.
Chip throws a softball to Cern for the 1st question.
Question 1: “Is it weird/off that this person’s Facebook page doesn’t allow friend requests?"
Chip and Cern say: No that isn’t a red flag. You don’t want work snooping around your Facebook account especially if your profile pic is you ripping a huge bong load. Cern says that this lady is reading too far into this. With family and kids you don’t want to be broadcasting your life to people you don’t really know. Also if you are posting about politics on your Facebook Chip and Cern will boot you from their feed. If you want to suck the dude’s dick, send him a friend request. End of question.
Question 2: “How to I tell my boyfriend I cheated on him with his best friend?"
Chip and Cern say: Don’t tell him. Cern says “what do you think will come of this?” Chip provides more context. The girl’s boyfriend has been working a lot of hours and she was venting about it to his friend. They exchanged numbers, he came over and then they exchanged bodily fluids. The affair lasted 3 months before, here is the curveball, the boyfriend proposed to her and she said YES. He said he had been working so much to save up the money to buy her a nice ring. The best friend whom she cheated with is going to be the best man at the wedding. This is where this gets really sticky and stinky. Chip and Cern take a few moments to gather their thoughts because of the gravity of this situation. Here are the cons of telling. This friendship and relationship will more than likely be broken up. The entire triangle is going to be done. Cern brings up a good point that what kind of friend would do this to another friend. Chip and Cern say tell the friend whom you had the affair with that you are going to spill the beans, then you go tell the boyfriend. If you go through with the wedding, you are setting yourself up with divorce in 5 years. Cern says if this bothers you know, just wait until 3 years later, a kid or two and you keep seeing the best friend. You gotta tell the boyfriend. Maybe it was the drinking, ass eating or whatever, but you need to let it out.
Question 3: “Is he testing me when he asks about if I think different guys are cute?"
Chip and Cern say: Not that many guys give tests to their ladies. Guys are more than likely just trying to get into your pants after a night out of Olive Garden. Nobody in Chip and Cern’s circles are giving their ladies tests on dates. If these questions are asked guys are just seeing how far they can get on that evening’s date. If you ask what is the furtherest you have been on a 1st date and she answers anal, then you spring for the bottle of wine at Olive Garden.
Question 4: “What does it mean when a guy responds to a text, “haha”?"
Chip and Cern say: He probably thought it was funny. It was probably a funny joke or something that warranted a laugh. Chip and Cern are finding that a lot of these ladies are looking way to far into these things.
Question 5: “What are current dress sock trends?"
Chip and Cern say: Depends on what your dress code is at work. Cern’s dress code if business causal, so he dresses like he is going to the golf course. Slacks, a polo and no sneakers. They just changed the rule that they had to wear ties. Cern doesn’t really know what the trends for dress socks are he just goes with black. There are some cool socks coming out with baseball teams, patterns etc that you can express your creativity through your socks. Chip’s work dress code, in San Francisco, is extremely casual. Jeans, tee shirt and hoodies. He usually wears Chuck T’s to work and sometimes a button down shirt. Sometimes he wears shorts and a baseball hat. It really doesn’t fucking matter because it is San Francisco. Cern’s work allows beards, but you would have to have an overnight transition to a beard. Cern shaves twice a day like a fucking lion or something. The trends that Chip is seeing in San Francisco is bright colors and crazy patterns. #sockgamestrong
Question 6: “What can a wife do to be sexy for her man?"
Chip and Cern say: This is very case by case. Certain guys are ass men and different guys are tit men. Some guys think that a wife that cooks them dinner every night is sexy, while others want their ladies to walk them around on a leash. Chip says a little bit of the spontaneous stuff is always good and some lingerie is always a win. You got to go back to the early days of dating, no kids where you do whatever you want. Making out in the movies or a parking lot blow job. The lingerie is something that the ladies pour on thick in the beginning, but peters out quickly. The ladies can always just ask their husband/boyfriend/whomever what they think is sexy and work with that. Cern adds that boning is a good way to be sexy and to be into it. Wanting the D and being into it, not just going through the motions. That is the brass tacks of the situation. 15 years of marriage experience between Chip and Cern here.
Question 7: “Does saying yes to a guy on the first date mean the girl is cheap?"
Chip and Cern say: No, it is totally ok. Ladies need to get theirs too, so go for it. If you need it then go for it and if a guy thinks different then fuck him. You go girl.
Question 8: “Is it possible to hook up with an old friend and to not have it blow up?"
Chip and Cern say: Chip sets a stage where you are back at your high school reunion and you hook up with your high school crush. Cern says it will blow up. You want to be forward and get both people on the same page. When the P goes in the V lots of emotions and feelings get stirred up. You guys bang and in a few weeks you see that person on a date you could be upset. Chip will say you might be ok with a one time thing, but if it is an old friend there will be lots of history that will come into play and you will probably have some repercussions.
That was the first Ask Chip and Cern segment. Again if you have questions post them on Facebook, Twitter or email. If you don’t want any names mentioned we can respect that.
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