Chip and Cern show of their range by dedicating a complete episode to poop. No matter what age, gender or race poop, farts and related topics are always funny.
Chip has noticed a weird behavior at work in the bathroom.
When Chip is at home and has to take a middle of the night bathroom piss he sits down on the john. He then tries to catch a few winks and go to sleep whilst pissing on the toilet. Then he might fall asleep and hit his head on the bath and die.
At Chip’s work he watches the shoes and then identifies the offending pooper later on in the office.
Chip has issue with grown men who pull their pants and underwear all the way down the ankles. How dirty is that getting your pants on the ground of the bathroom where there is dried pee and other nasty stuff.
Cern is in full agreement and they both say that pulling your pants to your knees is the accepted behavior.
Chip and Cern ponder as to why someone would pull your pants all the way down to the ground to poop.
FREE STICKER if you can give Chip and Cern a good reason why you pull your pants all the way to the floor when sitting on the toilet.
What do women do in the bathroom? Chip thinks there is no way they are pulling their pants to the floor.
Cern gets yelled at for not washing his hands when he comes home.
At Chip’s work they got some new “PLEASE WASH HANDS” signs at work. He guesses there was a few complaints which caused the signs to be posted.
Cern asks if Chip is going to identify as a woman to find out if the ladies bathroom have hand washing signs.
Chip says pants all the way down to the floor is something that is taught by your parents.
Chip then awkwardly ask Cern how he teaches his little boy how to poop.
It could get sideways.
Boys get lazy and have more accidents because they don’t want to stop playing or having fun to pee.
Chip has some distorted memory of guys pissing with one hand and not even undoing the belts.
Cern shares a great story about his son who had to poop.
Little Cern said “I have to poop” so they head to the bathroom. Cern is supervising inside the stall. Someone else comes into the neighboring stall and Little Cern leans underneath the stall and proclaims “hey this guy is pooping!” No response from the stranger. “Hey why are you pooping?” no response. “Well my butt hurts. Well does your butt hurt?” the stall neighbor doesn’t respond to the 3 year olds questions. Stall neighbor starts tearing it up and pepping the bowl. “Hey this guys poop stinks!” The stall neighbor finishes up and leaves before Little Cern was able to finish his poop.
Chip doesn’t take his time pooping, he goes in and gets it done. Doesn’t even check the fantasy line up.
Cern has nothing but silence about his fantasy team.
Chip hurries along the poop if he is ripping it up to get out of the stall before the neighboring pooper doesn’t ID him.
Chip uses too much TP and has been known to clog the toilet. He loves office toilets cause they don’t fuck around with the low flow toilets.
At Chip’s old job he clogged the toilet. Flushed once, no dice. He has respect and won’t leave turds floating. On the 3rd flush the water starts bubbling over the top and his stall neighbor starts commenting and lifting his feet up because water is pouring on the floor.
Chip has overflowed his personal home toilet too many times to count.
Chip and Cern went on a family vacation with Tony’s family to New York right after they turned 21. They cannot believe they were even invited. They went to the world famous Carnegie Deli and had one of the biggest Ruben there was ever created. They brought their leftovers and kept them in Tony’s sister’s room because their fridge was full of beer.
Chip has the meat shits and clogged the hotel toilet. A tremendous exit as he claims. Chip forgot that he had to leave the poop and clogged toilet. Their theory was that time and water will soften the poop and TP and it will flush down easier. Well they were wrong. After a night of of drinking until 4am, where Chip tried to take a sip off a crazy person’s beer they get back to the hotel room around 6am. So the poop had been sitting for nearly 12 hours. They get up the next day to go to the Yankees game and the poop continued to sit. So the poop has been clogged for over 36 hours at this point. The front desk needed to be called to send up a janitor to unclog the toilet. He came up with a 15’ snake to help unclog the toilet. Chip, Cern and Tony were in the corner of the room watching him work really hard just busting up laughing. He was sweating, cranking on this clogged shitty toilet looking over at us with evil eyes as we were just doubled over in laughter.
Cern reminds that they also puked in the subway garbage cans (Tony) and pissing on the subway tracks (Chip).
One of the shittier podcasts to date.
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